Category Archives: Delusional, does it not make me dangerous to the world?

What I may see, and feel but it is not actually there. there are several times within the day and countless within a week that in my left hand I will feel like I am touching something or holding something.

Good Morning America

I think I got a solid 2 hours of sleep in bed, I nodded off here and thee while at my desk, but i would snap to it once my head start tipping. I leave in just about 48 hours, but I will be going to my daughters, boyfriend’s condo in Phoenix tomorrow night, so I can leave my car there in the gated complex and feel more at ease about where it’s at and not have to pay for airport parking either. This way they can run me to the airport Wed morning.

Now don’t get me wrong here, I am so looking forward to going and seeing my mom, brother, and sister; and on top of that the list goes on and on for other people I hope to catch up with. I definitely have to be here in Cali on the 23 for an appointment on the 24th, so If I wanted to push it, I might stay a couple of more days and return on the 23rd and then the next morning, head on up to Needles, CA for my appoint. Ohhhh, decisions, decisions, decisions…..

I am also watching the last few days of the Olympics that I had recorded. Right now they have Men’s Marathon Swim, well they they changed it, now to fast fwd to find something a little more of my interest. Okay, here we go, men’s wrestling and in the meantime I am also going through these photos I had taken a bit over a month ago.

Right on, I know it has already played out, but Jordan Burroughs is now heading to the final round to wrestle for the gold. very cool. Way to Rock Dude!!!

Now I am trying to find an app by Google that will help me set some pics up in a panoramic view. I thought I had  one but it turns one photo into five. Dam, still searching, and I found nothing that would let me put pics together and create a single pic/panoramic pic, and I cannot remember what the name of the one site I saw previewed that says just drop in your pics and it does the work. I’ll find it and let you guys know.

So until later, I am going to write up a new post because it has nothing to do with these topics.

Ciao, until next time


My hand is freaking killing me, sitting here at my desk and my left arm is underneath the keyboard tray and my hand twitched for who knows why and smacked the underside of the keyboard tray with my knuckles and that added to the pain I was already enduring.  Right now it is 11:26 AM and I have already taken my morning pills about 830 when I got back from the desert.  I think I can go ahead and take my lunch time pills.  I don’t know what is causing it, but my hand for some reason this hurting more and more lately as the days go by I try and move my fingers to exercise them and that hurts but it’s manageable but the overall crushing sensation has gotten worse and my hand tremors a lot and I don’t know why.  My next appointment is on September 4 with Dr. Bergey and I will probably only see Jay-Z which is fine, but I have to let him know about these tremors and see if it’s a side effect of one of my meds.

Well I just had something happen that has not happened in quite some time it seems.  It is now 11:38 AM on Thursday, 08/31/2012.  And what happened was I felt this jolt, some sort of shock as if from electricity but no burn on my skin.  I is 102 with anyone else is having that and the feeling at random times.  And where on their body are they having it Mike and shoulders or legs face on that or from the back. @ of in anehave our pastnergy pick me around this time from my midsection to the top of my head and shoulders second burst of energy is hit me, it’s really hard to describe based have the most time in and just different parts of my body odor can figure out what they were.

It is now 12:11 PMis I just had another jolt from the back this time. It does not hurt when these jolts occur, it is more shocking to me mentally, that it happened and I don’t know why and the strength of that jolts sometimes knocks me back a little bit.  Sometimes it’s real powerful, and other times it’s like a gentle nudge, like somebody’s nudging you along but it’s larger than just a hand.  You see what I mean, it’s hard to describe this sensation that I have now and then at random times and I don’t know what to do about it.  I will tell my doctors about it and I think I have told them about it but it looks like I might have to tell him again, it may be a side effect of one of the meds.

One thing that occurred at the top of my morning, is that I get stuck in the sand over by P Mountain.  I wanted to get the right shot for the morning sunrise coming up over the key mountain and I got several this morning

How do people believe what is not true, not correct, not righteous morally or ethically?

I am brought to a question that I find one that should to have to be asked, or rather a topic that should be common sense.
Common Sense; was once used by a CEO of a Financial Advisory company who also sold life insurance. His Mantra was “Common Sense” and it went very well for the company and their goals.
But the bottom line is just that, common sense, and I am not referring to financial advice or life insurance.
It is like this, when I travel and stay with friends or just other people, I do not use their stuff, especially in the bathroom. The only thing I might do is to ask to use a towel if I need to use the shower, or a hand towel to wash up and dry my hands and face with.
I do not go into other peoples home’s, oh yes, this includes a relatives house. Once you move out of your parents home, it is no long your home, even if you have to move back in for any reason, it is still not your house, not your home. That being the situation, you leave things where they are, or you ask about making changes. One just does not return and assume everything is yours to mess with. You do not use anything you did not specifically purchase and put anywhere. If it is not yours, and you should know dam well if it is or not, than ask to use it or leave it the hell alone.
Sorry, that is one of my pet peeves. Just like the old saying, that if it isn’t broke, don’t mess with it.
Well now I think have vented enough, and with the help of some Jazz and Blues music by Diana Krall, I am in a much better mood, and I wasn’t really in a bad one, I just wanted to vent some possible future attitudes. Everything is good, My hawks won last Thurs. and they are so far undefeated in preseason, they start the season on next Sunday, the 9th.
Anyway, I have got to finish this project with these photos I have been taking.
I will be back to share some of my thoughts.

My list of TODO’s on WP

Now I forgot, go figure. That might be one thing so I will go with it…

I am not sure when I started forgetting things, or if had been for a long time, even before the accident. But one thing I know for sure is that every person that I know has noticed it more an more ever since I had changed my pain meds to NUYNTA ER 200mg. My pain doc said that if I do not think that they are working, call and schedule an appt for a month away from then, which was on the eighth

Add how much stuff I get started and do not stay on them until they are done, I end up starting something else.

Like last night I finished my laundry, but as far as putting them away, I decided to clean out a couple of my drawers from a dresser so my jeans would fit in the drawers. in them are sweaters and some shorts that have become a little snug around the waist. so I am going to donate what I cannot wear anymore. That is going to be quite a few.

3:53 am

When it hurts so bad that I want to yell

3:05 pm I am sitting at my computer chatting with some friends on Facebook and trying to get some things straightened out in my files my hand is killing me.  I am getting a sharp pain-more like dull sharp stabbing in my forearm on the inside, even though that area is numb to the touch it still hurts like a son of a bitch.

It is now at quarter after 8 PM, and my hand is killing me.  I have already taken my pills for dinner and in that batch was a large blue pill that is supposed to be stronger and longer lasting, 12 hours is the duration they say.  Along with the other pills that I think, methadone, a Soma, and the Percocet and offhand I cannot remember what else was there and that was no more than 2 1/2 hours ago and my hand is killing me even worse than before we went to dinner.

I have not told to many people this but I will explain it here, and that is another problem I am having because of the meds. A few months ago I went to a place called Islands for lunch and just before I was finished with my sandwich and ready to take the last couple of bites, I bit down on something that should not have been in my sandwich, I have no idea what it was but when I bit down and started chewing, it chipped one of my teeth in the back, one of my molars I guess. it started cutting my tongue on the right side/had to watch how I did everything speaking, eating good drinking a glass of water or bottled water it would cut my tongue.  Swallowing was the worst.  Well then shortly after that I noticed on the left side of my mouth at the base of one of my other motors it was cracked or something right at the gum line just above it, and I am sure this is an over exaggeration but to me it feels like it is about an eighth of an inch wide or rather tall and it goes from the front of the molar to the back of the more and at times that would cut my tongue.  Then about six weeks ago maybe longer, on the upper left side of my mouth another to use broke off and is very sharp on the inside and that went to was the worst one yet for cutting my tongue.  So far those are the only three, I think there are three that have cracked or chipped but the first one I mentioned on the right side has gotten even worse.  I can feel pain going down into my jaw which I never felt before and it just hurts like a son of a bitch.  Between my tooth and my hand, my life really sucks. the doctors would probably chew me out for what I am doing right now; I have taken two aspirin and putting it down inside the area between my cheek and gum near that tooth.  And the reason I say that is because of the medication I am already on, and the aspirin would not help with the chemical process the other pills I believe.

dammit, I was in the militant wing something and now I cannot remember what it was.  That is it, I need to go and my settings and make a change but I cannot find the right spot so I will be back. Okay, I think I found it.  This will decide whether the setting I picked change, cannot vs. can’t, yea.  Unless I am writing a formal document I am going to use contractions.  I went to take a small break now that I stressed over that and I will be back.

Final Shoot for a Project that should Pay Off

I am going to go out and get some good shots of the area, I only hope that my client really loves my work.

She had already said she wanted a couple of my pieces, so now it’s time to go shoot the rest of her imagination.

I am nervous but I think I will get what she wants.

I just my hand doesn’t become a problem, I wish I could take it off and put it aside until I need it. Well, that won’t work because I do need it all of the time, but it hurts so much. I would buy another stand, but I am afraid it will fall apart like the first one, tripod, that is what I meant. anyway,,,,,,

I am out on a shoot, text me or call if you need me.

Love you all.

Heading out for my Class Reunion of 30 years

I have been running around the house trying to get things outside so I do not have to deal with them when I get back. Then too I had been running around town and inside the house making sure I don not have to worry about my privacy while I am gone also. I put a new door knob and dead bolt on my bedroom door. I know, you are probably thinking that is pretty odd to put that much security on ones own bedroom door. Well unfortunately the trust of a half brother of mine has got to be earned and he has had his whole life to do that, from what I have heard, he still has no respect for other peoples property. If I could put more locks on the the door, I would.

Aside from that, my class reunion, man oh man. I never went to my 10th, or my 20th. So here I am going to my 30th. I am expecting a good time all around. The golf tournament on Friday should be a blast; that is if I don’t hit anything or anyone, lol. I have tried to swing a club, but my left hand doesn’t stay with the club.

And then parties Friday night and Saturday night. I have a hotel room reserved at a Travel Lodge in Fife for those night so if anyone needs a place to crash out for the night and didn’t have place else to go. Making it sort of like a flop house if you will.

So I am signing out for now, Might be back on when I am in Sky Harbor, or even Salt Lake City. Until then, you all take care.

Love to all


I had been work…

I had been working on details of my trip to Tacoma/Seattle and all of a sudden I look at the clock a bit ago and it was after 3pm. It then felt like only about 10 or 15 minutes went by and it’s actually 5:30pm. And no, not necessarily am I having fun, I feel like I am working though, which is a good thing. i am trying to get everything squared away, get my desk cleaned off of little “to do’s” that need “to be done”. So I guess it is a little fun.being productive. Plus I got my film back from Walmart, that I dropped off a month ago. Three rolls of film and I only hope they look as good as what I shot. 

I am feeling great today, I don’;t really feel “bogged down” like I have on other days. Maybe it’s the thought of being in the position I am in and able to go home for my class reunion, (even though the dogs are barking non-stop, I am still maintaining my sanity, what there is of it). 

I absolutely love my Direct TV. But…., yep, there it is, the big BUT; and it has to do with the billing. I have been with them for, damn, 4, maybe 5 years. At least 4 anyway, and I got an email that my bill is coming due soon. I kind of like that, they let me know in plenty of time before it is actually due, but when I clicked on the email and opened it just now, it shot up to $210, but I have to have my football. I just realized that my bill has been flexing from one number to another, only by a couple of bucks, but still, I’ll call them tomorrow and find out why, I don’t order any movies so it doesn’t make sense. I’ll find out though. But if you want FOOTBALL, let me know if you want to sign up for Direct TV, you can always just get a basic package and even go into vacation mode when outside of the football season.

Well, now that dinner has passed, rather finished up and not passed. I am going to go through some film and hopefully I will have some good shots, 

Until later, Ciao, my Love to all.

A new day, a new weekend, and only days left

only days left for my trip home for my class reunion. My 30 years class reunion, I never thought I would make it to the age of 30 let alone 30 years to the reunion of my high school graduation. I used to do some pretty crazy stuff, the mildest of just playing Frisbee with a radical format of climbing and jumping over anything and everything that even got in the way just to catch the disc.

Anyway, that is probably why my back and knees feel the way they do. But on to other things. I am on my way out to do some photo shoots of the area, see what I can get for this job I am commissioned for.

Until later my friends, Love and Gods Speed to all.